It's been two weeks since I last posted. On Friday the 30th we had a half day, followed by a week-long spring break. It wasn't very restful, but it was certainly enjoyable, even though I had a lot of work to do.
The kids were absolutely nuts the week before break. This was for two reasons, both of which I believe are perfectly valid:
(1) It was the week before spring break, and
(2) There was a full moon.
I always thought people were exaggerating about the full moon affecting student behavior, but ho. ly. cow. Classroom personalities were reversing all over the place. It was almost too much for me to handle. I didn't want to relive that week at the end of it.
However, the end of my sixth grade class was quite nice. A surprising amount of them raised their hands high when Lizzy asked who was considering taking choir in the fall. It was touching. Their grades are due at the end of the week, so I'm going through and writing comments about each one. This class will always have a special place in my heart because they were the first I had from beginning to end, even if it was only four weeks.
I feel like my lesson plans are in a good place, thanks in large part to some charts Lizzy made that have been helping me visually as I plan. My coordinator is observing me with a choir for the first time since January. Since then he's watched me with the sixth graders, I think partially because it's closer to his comfort level. He's liked my lesson plans for those classes, so we'll see how he likes what elements I've incorporated into my choir lesson plans.
It's been a weird semester between Lizzy and me. Since this is public, I can't really go into the issues in depth. All I really want to say is that I've been struggling with dealing with our personality differences, and this has affected my communication with her, and how I evaluate my own teaching.
Yesterday I finally had to just stop myself and write out my thoughts in a small journal I keep for just such occasions.
"Look," I wrote, "You only have three more weeks. Just go with the flow and do what you know how to do. Kick as much ass as possible. you can be yourself with the students, but you need to build a wall. You can take a comment personally, you just can't let her or the students see that you take it personally." So I kicked it yesterday, and by the end of the day I felt a lot better about everything.
I think that this entire semester I've been so focused on "DON'T TAKE EVERYTHING PERSONALLY HOW DARE YOU DO THAT" when that is completely against how I function. Some things I can't help but take personally, regardless of how I know they were or were not meant. However, I can put up a membrane: things can come in but I won't let my personal feelings come out. That's what happened yesterday, and it worked. I don't know if it makes sense to anyone else but it does to me.
The teflon barrier where I can just not let comments get to me as much in the first place? That's something I'm working on gradually. I just can't try and use a barrier that's not ready, or it'll get destroyed. Like trying to keep away invaders with a half-built wall. I'm working on it.
Three weeks. Really scary, but I'll be happy to finally reach the finish line.
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