Alpha Dog/Staph Meeting

Every day it seems like the days before it are all blurred together.

Yesterday, I played the name game and led warm-ups for all the choirs. Lizzy commented that I could be more commanding in my gesture (conducting), body language, and inflection. Today, for the sake of time, I just played the name game with the students, and the rest of the class period Lizzy worked on sight-reading with them.

During one of the larger classes, when I asked all the students to change seats so I could truly test my name memory, there were quite a bit of students climbing over chairs. The problem was in my wording: I had said, "Please move to another seat," and by the time I was saying, "responsibly and safely," they were already on the move and chatting. Now, the chairs are velcroed together in sets of two and three, but it was still wildly unsafe, and clearly against the rules of Lizzy's classroom.

"Excuse me!" I projected, "Is it responsible or safe to be climbing over chairs?"

They either ignored me or didn't hear me. I didn't care which: I needed to show them who was the boss. I waited until they were mostly in their seats and starting to simmer down.

"No," I protested, "Is climbing over chairs responsible or safe?"

Half the class murmured a "no," but it wasn't enough.

"Is climbing over chairs responsible or safe?"

"No," was the general consensus.

"Okay, then remember that when you go back to your seats in a few minutes." I then proceeded with the game. At the end I reminded them, "Now, responsibly and safely--so not climbing over chairs-- return to your original seats." And it went smooth as honey. Lizzy was taking notes and was pleased with my progress in commanding respect and attention.

I have to say, waiting for quiet every time the students start chatting feels absurd, but establishing my authority was worth it.

What better way to end a day full of establishing authority as well as a rapport with students, than to spend 45 minutes listening to irritating disciplinary policy and inane questions. You guessed it, we had a staff meeting.

Every organized meeting has one of those people. You know the one: she either asks questions that can be answered with common sense (otherwise known as thinking about a potential answer before asking said question), or presents a ludicrous and obscure "what if" scenario. Sometimes she is lovable enough that no one hates her, but most of the time it's almost unbearable.

Of course, I knew exactly which staff member she would be, because she never raised her hand to wait to be called on, interjected whenever she felt like it, and whenever she was called on for a question, everyone around me shifted uncomfortably/rolled their eyes/sighed heavily. Let's call her Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and the principal Charlotte Lucas.

EXAMPLE

Charlotte was explaining to the faculty that at no point can they leave their classes alone with a parapro (legal reasons).

Lady Catherine: Well, what if I have to run to the bathroom--

Charlotte: Nnnno.

LC: --can I ask another teacher to come in and watch my class?

Charlotte: Absolutely. However, that teacher cannot leave their class to watch yours.

LC: What if they stand between classes?

Staff: *SIGH IN UNISON*

Charlotte: What, like...how do you mean?

LC: You know, watches both classes. (I had images in my head at this point of a teacher being drawn and quartered by two classrooms.)

Charlotte: That...that would be almost impossible.

LC: Well I guess you...I guess...(tapers off)

Later, when discussing not letting volunteers or people not working for the district see you grade in order to protect student privacy, Lady Catherine smugly asked, "Well what if I have a long-term sub? She needs to be able to grade things!"

(Lizzy and I to each other: "THEY WOULD BE EMPLOYED BY THE DISTRICT.")

Charlotte calmly replied, "Of course a long-term sub would be allowed access to grades. I'm talking about volunteers, friends, or spouses. Those kinds of people."

Overall, I do like the staff that I've met.

Do I agree with all the decisions made in the building? No.

Will I still learn a lot from this experience? Absolutely.