"Abby" something...

Last night I was dreading my observation today. I woke up this morning feeling more confident about it, especially since Lizzy emailed me back and told me what she wanted to do with the seventh graders. My professor (let's call him George, ignore the Wickham) decided he could come for third and fourth hour, which was great because I felt more comfortable working with them in front of him, considering the way things have been going with eighth grade the past week or so.

It all went rather well! Of course I made some mistakes that I normally try to avoid, but that happens sometimes. I did rhythm cards and movement, followed by warm-ups. Lizzy took over for sight-reading (which we forgot in fourth hour...oops) and then I rehearsed Dodi Li with them. After that, Lizzy worked Tomorrow Shall Be... with the choir while George and I went into the practice room and talked about how class went and how he evaluated me.

I pointed out things I would change and that I'm working on (classroom management, consistent energy, etc.) and George noted that I'm a step ahead of some student teachers he's seen in the past who aren't aware that those are issues for them. He went through his evaluation form with me, and every box was either a 3/4 or 4/4! Even though I have so far to go and there are many things that still need improvement, George was pleased with the progress I've made and the direction I'm headed.

At one point when George was pointing out some issues I needed to work on, he said, "By the way, that's normal." Then he paused and pointed to a list further down on the page. "But you're abnormal, because look at all of these things you've been pulling in and successfully using! This is not the average!" It was a list of all the national standards I'd pulled in, movement and multisensory activities that had been used, and the ways in which I'd been able to fine-tune shapes or tones from the choir. Relief swept over me, and for a fleeting moment Marty Feldman's face popped into my brain--hence the title of this entry.

We talked extensively about an issue I had with a boy in fourth hour, and how I let him pull the energy of the class towards him instead of taking care of it quickly. I know better than that, but I was completely taken off guard by the fact that this particular student was back from suspension. A few quick fixes and I should be able to handle it much more effectively.

George also nailed my conducting. To be honest, I haven't been thinking about my conducting at all these past 9 weeks. I've been so focused on the teaching and the working relationship with the students that I let my conducting fall by the wayside. I'm not reinforcing correct singing technique with my conducting, so much of the set-up in the warm-ups and small chunks that we rehearse goes to waste. We determined that I'm throwing energy out there, but it's all in my arms and my face--not my torso or stance, where I want the students to have energy as well.

So that's a new goal for me to work on: re-focusing on my conducting and making it both crisp and technique-enhancing.

After the insane energy I put into third and fourth hour, and the twenty minutes spent talking with Lizzy and George during lunch, Lizzy sent me off to have a full half-hour of lunch, demanding that I not come back in the choir room until halfway through fifth hour. It was a break I definitely needed, and thoroughly enjoyed. I completed four sudoku puzzles!

Sixth hour was on the ball today. It was a great rehearsal. They were with Lizzy every step of the way, and we all made music together.

The choirs are starting to realize, "Oh crap, we only have 3.5 rehearsals left," and things are starting to come together. Festival is still a daunting prospect, but it looks like it'll be okay after all.

Oy, Oof, and other descriptors.

Tomorrow one of my music professors is coming in to observe me, either late morning or early afternoon. Have I gotten a confirmation? Nope. Whatever, I'm prepared for either situation. I've been dreading this for over a week now. But I think I've come to terms with the fact that he cannot fail me, so it is ultimately all going to be fine. Even if I crash and burn, it is going to be fine.

Today was a better day...somewhat. Lizzy helped me whip first hour into shape, which was really helpful because it probably would have killed me. I think tomorrow will continue to be even better on that front.

We used the white boards today to draw rhythm symbols and write out the counts to a few rhythms. This batch of kids really catches on quickly, and I think it'll be a good unit. As long as I can get all of them participating, that is. So that's my personal goal: to nail them for participation.

Tomorrow I'm planning on a really thorough wrap-up of the rhythm unit, before moving on to melody and the singing voice on Thursday.

I got to sit in the practice room once again today during the seventh grade choirs so I could spread out my stuff and map out my ideas for sixth grade and sixth hour. It was nice to get some respite and get some work done, but I could overhear how intense and kind of scary the rehearsals went. Here's hoping they shape up when my professor is here tomorrow.

Fifth hour I ended up turning pages for Mary Bennett on Festival Sanctus because let's be real: that piano part is killer. Talk about your painful rehearsals. The back row was the only row that really knew and sang their music, proven by the row-by-row singing test Lizzy had the class go through. Oof.

Sixth hour had to deal with the consequences of being so overwhelmingly disrespectful to me yesterday, so that was lovely. Lizzy lit into them. Hoo boy.

The last ten minutes of class, they finally perked up and we were able to have some fun with Month of Maying. Tomorrow we're hoping to start with that energy at the beginning and not just end with it.

I poured all of myself into that rehearsal. It wiped me out so much that I almost fell asleep on the drive home, and immediately passed out for an hour once I got home. Oy.

That seems to be the word that best sums up the day. Oy.

Subday

Was all set for first hour this morning when I left. Had a text from Lizzy on my way to school, saying she would be out for the day and that I needed to check my email for plans for each class. I'm not able to sub yet, as my paperwork hasn't gone completely through.

As soon as the students found out we had a sub, they were gone. Squirrelly, antsy, [other animal]y, and in some classes, overwhelmingly disrespectful. The tempos dragged so much that I had to snap the beat through pretty much every song and every phrase that we rehearsed. Between that and the name game in first hour, I got a nasty blood blister on my right middle finger from snapping. It's pretty much tops.

I used nonverbals (hand gestures, "Queen Victoria" stare, proximity) but fifth and sixth hour especially just did not give a flying fart about anything. I would give the boys a look in sixth hour, and as soon as I turned around, they would continue to mutter. Nothing I did mattered until I actually said, "When I look away, I should not hear more talking," in the middle of another sentence.

Basically it came down to me not having the energy to get on them about their disrespect right from the start. I let the day slide through my fingers, and I just accepted it.

It was a rough day, and I'm glad I only have to really deal with first and sixth hour tomorrow. I planned out my lessons after school, and I'm feeling okay about tomorrow. I just have to really focus on maintaining my authority, and having zero tolerance for disrespect.

Tomorrow is another day and a fresh slate. For tonight, I'm going to forget about everything school-related and enjoy an evening of stir-fry and Supernatural with my cousin. I think that's the best plan.

Click.

Today was actually quite a good day. It was just long, and I am worn out.

I got ten minutes up the freeway this morning when I realized I left my glasses on my dresser. "Well, at least my eye makeup is decent," I said to myself.

The point when I decided I was going to like today was when I was standing in the hallway as students were bustling in, and a gaggle of seventh grade choir girls (from both third and fourth hour) flocked around me asking where my glasses were and saying how nice I looked today. I explained that I left my glasses at home on accident.

"But can you see?" was the anxious question.

"...I drove here, didn't I?" And then we laughed and they went on their way. I had to explain it to every class, and even got to "blame" it on a student who got glasses yesterday and was wearing them today for the first time.

My first real lesson with the new sixth grade class went well! I kept them guessing on my questions for a bit too long, so that's something I'll have to gauge in the future. However, I kept them active and forced them to get involved, and they seemed to enjoy themselves (some of them against their better judgement, but I'll take it).

I moved a couple of seats around, namely that of a boy in the front row who had been sitting all the way on the end yesterday. In order to better keep him in my line of sight, I switched him with someone two seats over, and he was more actively involved during the whole class. He gave thoughtful, insightful answers to the questions I asked, and while I showed him that I really loved his contributions, I think I can take that even further in the future! If I can get him on my side, this class will be that much easier.

Today we discussed the definition of music (or at least the one we have in this class). Lizzy gave a really great definition, which is "sound organized in time." We differentiated between rhythm and beat, and practiced moving to the beat in a couple of songs. We even learned the patsch-clap-snap-snap pattern that will be used during the name game next week, and I was pleased with how quickly all but a few of the students caught on.

Something I loved about this class was that when one student suggested that sound was part of music, and I asked if the sound of a coffee maker was music, one of the other potential trouble students suggested that it would be music if it were set to a beat. That made my little heart endlessly joyful. I've seen Lizzy go round and round in circles with her classes, trying to get them to tell her what they think qualifies as music. Right off the bat, I think this class is going to go well. I just need to make sure I keep hold of the reins and get the right students on my side.

Lizzy kidnapped me after first hour and bought me coffee at a little place up the road that is just divine. We got back for third hour refreshed and ready to go. It was a more laid-back day with all the choirs...well, as laid-back as Lizzy could get two weeks before festival. I sat in with the seventh grade choirs, and got to work one-on-one with a girl who's having trouble navigating her head voice. Third hour was wonderful as usual, but fourth hour completely stepped up their game and was AMAZING. Seriously, the sounds were so unified, and the guys and girls were each supportive of each other that it all worked! It was really magical, as cheesetastic as that sounds.

Lizzy and I went to dinner at a great pizza place 5-10 minutes from the school. We talked for a solid two hours about everything: how I felt earlier this week, our personal lives, things I've figured out, things she's figured out, plans for the afternoon/evening after festival, Michigan wines, and finally how I'm doing this semester.

Lizzy's had about eleven student teachers (keep in mind they usually only stay with her for eight weeks). She's asked every one of them to take over for a sixth grade mini, like the one I just took over yesterday.

Apparently I am the first one to actually grab the bull by the horns and go for it. The other students either caved and wouldn't do it, or underprepared and completely fell on their faces the first day. She told me she was proud of me not just for taking it over so confidently, but for actually taking the time during the school day to separate myself, organize my thoughts, map things out, and really strongly consider my reasons for the choices I was making.

Example: the seating chart. I was tempted to do what Lizzy did, which was let all the students sit where they want, then that day rearrange them alphabetically by last name (apart from some potential problem students). Then I considered my mom's option when she was teaching: alphabetically by first name, to help her better remember names. To me, both of these options (particularly the former) seemed like something the kids would be sick to death of by now, and honestly alphabetical by first name would probably mess me up even more.

Instead I took a note from The First Days of School by Harry Wong, and handed each student a card with a number on it as they walked in the door on day one. This card happened to be their Day One Quiz they were to fill out during class and get points for. They were to find their number on a seat and sit there. I left the seats as they were yesterday, choosing to change a few today instead.

Tonight Lizzy told me that she was thinking, "Oh, I wouldn't do it that way," and then stopped herself from saying something because she knew that I had thought about options and had reasons for wanting to try this one. And at the end of class she was impressed by how well it had turned out.

Overall, even though this week had a rocky start, I came out of it stronger and more sure of my abilities and my place in the classroom. Everything has really started to just...click.

Just call me the Swan Queen

Today was the first day of the new sixth grade. I was incredibly nervous, even though I had everything planned out.

It went pretty darn well.

There were no major points of disorder, I didn't really have to whip out the Queen Victoria stare except to give an example of "things you don't want to have to see in this class." There's one student with a behavior plan, but he was perfectly fine today. Apparently he does okay in his electives because they're first thing in the morning. There are a couple other boys who could easily cause some issues, but I never had to really reel anything back in like with the last class on their first day. We'll see how it goes!

There's also a tiny, sweet girl who's an English Language Learner (Latina). I was impressed that she was able to follow along with the "class expectations quiz" they filled out as we went along in class.

Two more boys are in the class who have a parapro with them in the room at all times. One left class fairly early. I think the parapro said he has some mild autism. I hope I can connect with him on some level. The other is outspoken, but generally pretty pleasant. He's sometimes rude, but doesn't really understand when he's being so. I called on him frequently to face forward, or put my hand over my mouth to show him that he needed to stop talking, and he smiled and acquiesced. I wasn't sure how effective I was, but Lizzy said she noticed he responded well to me and that with someone else it could have easily gone awry. I did a little fist-pump inside my head.

Overall, it went quite well. I was confident and took charge. And Lizzy said I was relaxed. Which was great, because I was going a mile a minute inside. It was like a swan on the water: serene and natural on top, but under the water the legs are churning like crazy. It's a bit of a worn analogy, but it really fits.

Until festival is over, all I'm doing with the rest of the choirs is just running warm-ups. By the time festival is over, I'll be halfway through the sixth grade unit and will be able to handle doing that and a choir lesson or two (or four) in the same day (hopefully). And also Lizzy won't be going nuts every day, agonizing over festival.

Today when I was in the practice room (where I go if I need to get some work done) I worked out my lesson plan for sixth grade for tomorrow. Thankfully I was able to finish it during the day, so I was able to hang out with some friends tonight. It was a good night: I was able to relax and not worry about teaching. Even at lunch, I made myself go to one of the teacher lounges for lunch so I could do some socializing and take a break that I so desperately needed.

Yes, I would say that overall today was a success. I'm nervous about tomorrow, but I'm sure it will go well!

EDIT: I forgot to mention this tidbit of hilarity from third hour.

Lizzy was talking with the girls about how she wanted a more womanly sound. She got to talking about how there's so many wonderful things about being a woman. "Don't ever believe that it's always better to be a man. Trust me, I've been one." She stopped and thought about that statement. "Wait, no...."

But the damage was done.

"WHAT?!"

"NO THAT CAME OUT WRONG FORGET I SAID IT"

Meanwhile I was sitting in the practice room, lesson planning, and I wanted to pop my head out for comedic emphasis, but I resisted that urge. She was embarrassed enough to have let that sentence pass her lips, and she needed to continue with rehearsal. I'm sure she meant to say something about living with her husband, but it got lost in translation.

"Mrs. Bennett," I heard one girl proclaim, "You just made my year."