School has many authorities that manipulate the system while highstepping students' playgrounds, which contains ancient stones from Antarctica, which have many secret chambers that help hobbits die, but non intentionally, because preposterous antelopes leapt into the galaxy, causing pandemonium and supply and destruction of the Yankees, who did not know that intimidating mountain lions and butterflies lurked eerily nearby, waiting to pounce upon red wheelbarrows full of rainwater beside the white chickens of
"Exotic resources filled the red DOOM bountifully, exaltingly, and numbingly with peanut butter scones, which saved a young panda's life, which caused humans to DIE from bamboo consumption, aka 'Bambooitis';"
therefore bamboo was genetically altered and burning eternally in the flames of the hobbits of the abyss.