Honey Badger

Today was one of those weird days. Just...one of those. I felt okay about how first hour went, but it wasn't great. I would have changed a lot of things, and I veered off into territories I didn't even want to get into and that had nothing to do with my objective. When Lizzy and I talked about my lesson, I got this vibe like she was disappointed in me, or thought that because I'm not afraid to make mistakes that I've stopped preparing and thinking through my lessons. I work my butt off.

I told her as such during second hour, and she replied, "No, it's obvious that you put thought and effort into these lessons. We just need to hone the focus a bit more." She gave me some thoughts on objectives and anticipatory sets that really helped this evening when I was prepping for tomorrow. I've been putting energy and thought into my lessons, just not in the right places. I feel much better prepared for tomorrow than I did for today, probably because I know exactly what I want the students to take away, and exactly why they need to know it. That "why" has danced around me thus far, but I believe I finally nabbed it.

What are we working on in sixth grade right now? Singing healthily in different registers! Why? To improve accuracy when singing in different parts of your voice, and also so you don't have to have throat surgery like Adele. Already have a girl in eighth grade who has beginnings of nodes, and it's largely due to where she talks. I talked to her mom (who had nodes removed in her 20's for similar reasons) and I agreed to help her find the right speaking register. Whereas most girls speak far too low, I think this girl may speak too high. We shall find out!

Yesterday was a seminar day. We were split up into trios for interviews. Two people would interview one person, and then we switched around a couple of times. Each time we got a new set of questions from the lead coordinator. I was the first person in my group to be interviewed. It went...not awful! I only used a few "ums" toward the beginning, and then caught myself every time I wanted to use them. One thing I could have done better is use my hands more. It wasn't the most accurate idea of how an interview would go, but it certainly was helpful!

I was told by my interviewers and by the coordinator that I gave good answers. When asked about materials in the classroom, I gave specific examples of useful materials and how/why I use them. When asked about how I would handle any one of the numerous hot topics in teaching now, I gave specific examples of how music relates to subjects across the board. Surprise! The topic I chose to discuss was standardized testing. I figured I'd advocate as much as possible within the six questions they asked me.

[Hey Kirsten reading this sometime down the road: remember, specificity is key.]

There was one question that was aggravating and disorienting, and one question that...challenged my creativity. The aggravating one was the last one, and went as such: "Today you are going to leave this interview and think of one thing you wish you'd told us. What is that one thing?"

As my interviewers and I had already broken character a few times, I felt no qualms with saying, "Doesn't the first part of that imply [infer? whatever] that regardless of what I tell you, I will still find something I'll wish I'd told you? Ugh." And sure enough, after that interview I wish I'd said something about oh, I dunno, cello.

The other less aggravating and more challenging question went as follows: "Choose three animals that you feel best represent three of your strengths in the classroom. Explain why you chose them."

I felt like I was in middle school.

I wanted to just immediately blurt out "HORSE!" but I had no real reason to that I could think of. The next animal that popped into my head was the honey badger. I planned my words very carefully.

"I would have to say that the first animal that represents a strength of mine is the honey badger," I began, as my interviewers gave a couple of good-humored snorts. "The honey badger has zero fear. I have zero fear of getting up in front of a class and making mistakes, because at the end of the day I'm a better teacher and a better person because of it."

Animal cliches were popping into my head left and right. "The second animal," I slowly phrased, "would be a mule. There's that old cliche, 'stubborn as a mule.' I am stubborn in the sense that I will keep at a lesson until the students understand it. I will never give up on them." I couldn't think of any other descriptors in the moment, but a few hours later, the word "determined" popped into my head and I wished I'd used it.

"My final attribute I want to address is my energy in the classroom. I try to be as positive and excited to learn as possible, and students feed off of that. So I guess in that sense I'm like the dog or puppy that greets you when you come home at the end of the day. You could have the worst day ever and feel awful, but that dog will always be excited to see you. No matter how horrible you feel, that excited puppy will lift your spirits and change your attitude. You could walk into my classroom and be having the worst day of your week, but instantly start smiling because of the positive energy I get rolling in the rehearsal."

Honey badger, mule, puppy.

As strange as those answers were, and for how randomly they popped into my head, I think I made them work for me.

So what animals reflect your strengths?

From my weekly journals for seminar class

Journal #5: Unit challenges

I have this next week off from school for mid-winter break, and Lizzy advised me to completely take a break for most of it, but to start getting my brain back in gear towards the end of it. That makes sense, so I don’t get overwhelmed. Specifically she asked me to start thinking about what I want to do with the next mini-elective of sixth graders, because she’s completely handing them over to me while she finishes preparing the choirs for festival.

For me, this is an incredibly daunting task. No, I don’t think daunting even covers it. I know that this week I’ll be reading up on Wong’s The First Days of School and reviewing my notes from this last mini-elective. The one relief is that the class is only 4.5 weeks, and I’ve been through one-and-a-half of these mini-electives with Lizzy so far. My class starts on Thursday, March 1, so I have a few days when I get back to get things in order.

She’s giving me free rein over what concepts and material I cover. I could make this a completely different class from what she normally teaches, and she would be okay with it as long as I do it well. I’m definitely going to go back and sift through my secondary general music resources and see what I can bring to the table.

Something that’s daunting but also something I’m looking forward to is planning the unit as a whole. It will give me a chance to look at the big picture, and then divide it into smaller chunks. I won’t be freaking out so much about planning lessons from scratch for every day, because I’ll have some larger goals to fall back on that I am in control of.

My main challenges in this unit are going to be classroom management and establishing clear objectives. Right from moment one of day one I have to be on the ball and know exactly how I’m running my classroom. My goal is to remember that I am in authority over these students, and that I have to take exactly none of their crap. I also need to remember that in order to be truly successful, I need to have my stern side balanced with lightness. This is easy for me to forget, but I may actually plan some humor/lightness into my lesson plans so I remember to include it!

I do have some basic goals I want the class to achieve: finding their singing voices, moving to the beat, showing understanding rhythmic concepts, showing understanding of melodic concepts like solfege and steps/skips, and something new I want to bring to the unit, at least a minor understanding of how music works in other cultures.

I’d like to do something like “World Music Fridays,” [which I totally did not steal from music history at CMU] where we listen to some type of non-Western music, look at its cultural context, and compare it to our own music and culture. I’d like to have some kind of activity in there other than just show and tell lecture-type stuff from me, so that’s something I’ll have to think about and do a bit of research on.

I’m looking forward to putting together this unit (especially in a situation where I will receive constructive feedback on a daily basis), I’m just nervous about what the class will be like. Will they be well-behaved? Will they be disrespectful? Will they be willing to put themselves out there for the music? I guess I’ll have to wait and see, and adapt.

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Author's note: A couple of weeks ago in a journal for seminar, I used the phrase "free rein" and wanted to check that it was not, in fact, "free reign." This led me on an internet quest for about an hour, after which I decided that even though "free rein" is correct (derived from an equestrian phrase), I prefer the spelling of "reign." Oh well.

You say, "Mahalo," I say, "Mahara."

Today was the first in a line of 6 student teaching seminars. Many other students complained about trying to find the building it was in. I hadn't been to the location before either, even though it's ten minutes from my house. I simply had the foresight to look at a map beforehand.

I sat with a fellow music major during the seminar, and we got lunch afterwards. It's nice having someone I know in the class; even if we don't have the same coordinator, we still sit next to each other for most of the allotted time and write notes to each other when one of the coordinators gets sassy about a student's question. Let's call my fellow music major friend Kitty.

The first hour of seminar was something I was dreading, as it would be a tutorial on the e-portfolio software, Mahara. However, once I started writing down notes on what the presenter was saying, it got easier to understand. The presenter was honest about the downfalls of parts of the system, thorough in his explanations and examples, encouraged us to tinker with it and make mistakes (all of which can be easily fixed), and answered questions patiently, understanding that it was a lot of information to take in at once.

It was a much more effective presentation than the one I was required to attend over a year ago, wherein two bored young gentlemen showed a room full of students how to submit files for twenty minutes. Thank you, kind presenter, for making me feel less terrified of the insanity of Mahara.

The teacher of the class, who is one of the coordinators, briefly mentioned that we would be learning how to write multiple lesson plans quickly.

"How long did it take you to create a lesson plan at university?" He asked, "2, 3 days? Of course! They're beautiful! But when you're teaching five days a week, and either multiple subjects or multiple classes, you will get wiped out quickly if it takes you that long to create a lesson plan. One of the topics we will discuss in here is how to quickly create effective lesson plans. All we ask for this class is that you give us what you're teaching, how you plan to teach it, and how to determine what the students learned."

"Thank God," I breathed as Kitty and I looked at each other, because it truly is a blessing. I could hear the "Hallelujah" chorus being banged out on the piano by my college voice teacher. No more conflicting lesson plan assignments from various classes, each demanding that their way is the best (nay, only) way to draft a lesson plan. No more verbose scripts to write word-for-word, or vague suggestions from professors scrawled in the margins. No more agonizing for days about how my meticulously carved lesson plan was ground to sawdust in front of the class.

In the words of e e cummings, "i thank you god for most this amazing day."

After seminar abruptly ended, Kitty and I were able to grab lunch and catch up a bit. In discussing our living situations this semester, I realized how thankful I am that I have music educator parents. They understand that at the end of a long day of teaching, I don't have the energy to clean or do chores or cook. At least not at this point, when I'm still getting used to it.

They understand that teaching requires all the energy you have, and sometimes faking more energy than you have after those sleepless nights. Because as Lizzy reminded me, "If you're on your A game, the students MIGHT get to their A- game. If you're on your B game, your students will be on their C game."

They understand that teaching is one of the hardest occupations there is, and that I have barely even dipped my toes into the water yet. I am forever grateful for their support.